a new job

My son applied for a new job and is both excited and apprehensive as he waits for news as to whether he landed it.  So being a loving parent I thought that I would send him a supportive email.  I thought that I would share it with you all.

"

I think you get it.  But the boss is a major asshole and you break under the pressure.  You become a raging alcoholic, addicted to Molly, and fall to depths of deprivation seldom experienced by a human.  Then one day, when you can fall no further, you find a battered baseball in the gutter with a scuff mark on it that looks like the face of Jesus.  You remember all of those great days when you were an All Star in the Little League and thank Christ for saving you.  You found a mission dedicated to saving all the former Little League All Stars who have, like you, fallen to the wiles of the demon rum, albeit not as far as you fell.  You are so successful that Oprah picks you as her charity of the month.  The President awards you the National Medal of Honor and you win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Or you die of ebola next week.  No matter. It's all random.
"